It Happened...

I LOVE adoption, I do. I love that God gave me two beautiful daughters who fit perfectly with Dereck and I.  I am so thankful that I am able to be a mother even though I have been unable to meet, or raise any baby I have ever carried. But today was the day I had been dreading since we adopted our girls.  Jazzy is the kind of kid who rarely asked questions, she just kinda has her own drum beat she marches to, she loves life and she really doesn't seem to think too much about stuff. If she asks something, the answer you give her is good enough, she doesn't need to know more. So therefore our time as adoptive parents have been pretty easy. She has NEVER asked about her other mother or why we look different. She knows she is adopted and its explained as best as it can be to a 5 year old and thats that.
BUT Jessie, oh this girl is inquisitive and I think she sits around thinking of things she can ask and contemplate, and figure out. She asks a million questions a day, and usually already knows the answer to them, and will tell you the answer to her questions if you ask. She can persuade situations to benefit her and her plans, she loves sticker charts, and always wants to win, she likes making "lists" like mommy. She has definately kept me on my toes the past year. Today I was in the kitchen washing dishes, and she was coloring at the table, making me a "surprise" after she asked if I liked surprises, I assured her I did, who doesn't? Besides Jessie, she likes to know whats going on all the time! Anyways, as she was chatting back and forth between Grandma Carol and myself, she asked the dreaded question, the one I had thought about since the day I adopted her, the one I have prayed about, cried about, asked others opinion about, all to be left with the answer...You will know what to say when it happens, because it will happen. She said "Mommy, did I come out of your tummy?" I wanted to say yes, shield her from the news thinking it would devastate her to know. But I want to be honest from day one with as much information she needs to know. So I said no you didn't Jessie, not from my tummy. She interrupted me and said "But babies come from Mommy's tummies" I told her that she came from a different mommy's tummy. she said "Where is she?" I told her I didn't know but that she couldn't take care of her so I got to be her mommy and take care of her and love her, because thats what God planned for her life. Amazingly enough, that was all she needed to know, then she changed the subject back to rainbows or flowers (thank goodness).
 My goodness I wish this wasn't apart of their story. I wish so much that I could delete the bad thats happened in their life. I never ever want them to feel bad about anything in their life, I never want them to feel rejection or pain, inevitably they will ask more questions,and want to know more about their other mother and family as they get older and try to figure this crazy life out for themselves. I just wasn't ready for it today, and I probably won't be ready next time either.